Reviewing the ‘Tenders’

Between now and December 23rd (in case you missed it, that’s the day the adventure starts), I’m going to try to write at least a post a week. Question is – what do you write when it’s pretty much the opposite of winter? Ideas? Please leave a comment (no matter how absurd).

Someone was pointing out that while I’m familiar with snowboarding and eating chicken tenders, I’ve probably never written a food review, so I probably should start looking into it. .  And so I did. And oh this is going to be hilarious.

According to WikiHow, there’s 7 steps to making for a good food review (http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Food-Review). They are (paraphrased):

  • Be able to eat all sorts of foods and be able to describe the details such as texture, taste, smell, and feel of the food. (I’m aiming for crunchy, smells like fried chicken, and tastes like chicken)
  • Think about how you’re going to record the experience (apparently whipping out the camera and notebook in a 5-star restaurant is gauche).
  • Assess the table setup before you take your place and begin eating. (Flat surface to eat on? Might be a snowboard? Ok. We’re good.)
  • Order food that gives you a broad sampling of the menu. (Chicken… chicken… fail)
  • Assess the food as you consume it and pay attention to the presentation of it, the temperature, and the level of cooking. (This one could be entertaining as I’ve gotten tenders in all sorts of different ways)
  • Ask questions of the staff. (Can I have a napkin? Do you have a utensil other than a spork?)
  • Consider the ambiance. (Try to envision ambiance while eating chicken tenders still wearing snowboarding boots. Bet you won’t be able to keep a straight face.)

Ambiance? Presentation? I’m reviewing chicken tenders people – chicken tenders! Here’s what I will be looking for:

  • The availability of chicken tenders
  • Preferably hot (temperature) crunchy (flaky will do as well), but not overcooked or soggy chicken tenders
  • The availability of honey mustard dipping sauce
  • Bonus points for curly fries or waffle fries
  • Not to spend an arm and a leg for well literally just an arm and a leg… (no, I quit my day job and be a comedian)
  • And yes, I will be whipping out my camera and taking a picture of my chicken tenders (and whatever else I decided to order from the fancy menu)

So hope you’re all excited for some chicken tender reviews. That’s what you’re all here for, right? No? Hrmph. Tomorrow’s post will be on what I’ll be on the lookout for at ski areas.

Oh, and people – comment, subscribe. Please! =D

P.S. Thank you to my mother for pointing out via comment on my last post that my obsession with chicken tenders began as a toddler. I was apparently obsessed with dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Seriously – who wasn’t?

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